All right. I’m, done covering lunatic sheep for today, and would like to take a break from all of this for the very special Acidman Ten-Question Interview.

1) Does anybody really see a correlation between the size of a man’s feet or his nose and the size of his penis?

How the hell should I know? I have size 11 feet and I am impressed with my plumbing. Go figure.

2) If you are a woman, would you ever get a tit-job? If so, why?

Disproportinately massive breasts frighten me. (Yes, I mean that. Those can be used as weapons of mass asphyxiation.) The only tit job I would recommend for any woman is the reductive kind.

3) If you are a man, would you buy a bionic Roscoe if your dick quit working? If so, why?

No, because when Jay Junior decides to quit working, I think it’s a message for me to do other things with myself.

4) Did you ever sleep with someone and wake up in the morning unable to remember their name? If not, WHY NOT?

I do not have what would be considered an average American sex life. So, yes I do remember the few that I have slept with.

5) Which would you rather have for a pet? A DOG or a CAT? If you answer “cat,” you’ve got some serious explaining to do.

Neither. I’ll stick to my fish tank that I could watch while either drunk or buzzed out on sleeping pills. Such… motions…

6) Do you eat grits for breakfast?

I quit on carbohydrates three weeks ago and I hardly look back. I will try grits but I never grew up with them. Besides, I’m a self-hating Filipino coconut so I should not be eating rice.

7) What is the most dumb-ass thing you ever did in your life? Was it fun or has it haunted you for years?

When I got drunk mixing various hard liquors at the tender (not!) age of fifteen, I was spastic the next day. I vowed I would never drink again. That unfulfilled vow haunts me to this day, and I am unapologetic about it either.

8) Do you exceed the speed limit regularly when you drive, or just do it occasionally? Don’t tell me that you NEVER SPEED you lying shit! Tell the truth!

I used to. Not everyone who reads this blog needs to know the filthy details.

9) Describe the happiest day you can remember living.

Feh. I forget those easy. Ask me about the days where I feel like killing myself and haunting everyone else.

10) Do you believe that some things are worth dying for? If so, name one thing worth dying for and tell me why you feel so strongly about it.

Plenty of things. My freedom as an American, simply because if I cannot pick up a pistol and a sawed-off shotgun and defend my liberties should fighting happen on the streets, I’d rather use those to kill myself out of dishonor and shame. Wait… you were asking what was worth dying for. Hmmm. I’d rather enumerate the things I’d rather kill for. Like Michele, I will never die.