Today we save PETA members, who I assume are all vegetarians or vegans, from being eaten by their hungry human brethren: today is the International Eat an Animal for PETA Day, as decreed by Meryl Yourish.

Now before anyone calls Meryl, or just about every other meat-eater on this planet, out on a deliberate campaign to offend the sensibilities of PETA members, Meryl has explained this:

I’ve already received a letter from a child of Holocaust survivors who is, of course, extraordinarily offended. But here’s the thing: PETA is known for this kind of outrageous publicity stunt—and that’s what it is, an outrageous publicity stunt—and while I am also offended and outraged, there is absolutely nothing we can do that will make PETA change their ad campaign. I’m sure they knew exactly what they were doing, have a plan in mind, and, if they withdraw the campaign, will do it according to their deadlines and their decisions.

It’s blow for blow, dear friends, for her, and for others: for kids who still believe in a concept of Santa Claus, for Catholics, for Boy Scouts (who by the way have been declared a religious organization now so they do have so much more on their hands) — and this, my favorite, for dogs and little children, where I found this rich quote: When it comes to feelings, a boy is a dog is a fish. What about cockroaches? Who is thinking of the poor cockroaches? Hold on a sec, no one needs to care about them, they’re already running PETA.

Sometimes, stooping down to the level of pigs is no good. But when the pigs themselves put on a halo and pretend to be any better than the rest of us, it’s time to drag them squealing back down to earth for a good ol’foodfight. Here’s a blatantly condescending sentiment for the PETA folk, courtesy of yours truly. Since you really believe you know what’s good for the rest of humanity, how about sucking it up and taking it like a human being when the rest of humanity decides to show you what’s good for you, eh?

I eat meat every day. It’s something that is not only in my nature, but something I love to do. Today is not exactly the most special day in terms of eating meat, but as a matter of offending those who would deprive me of affordable access to meat by throwing junk science at the agricultural industry — yes, industry — bacon and eggs seem like an awesome start to a wonderful day, and it’s only going to get better.