Let me tell you this, I am not… wait… I am not… hold on a sec, I know I just Zooped those evil Republicans, who am I not now? — John Kerry, in an alternate universe where he Zooped into non-existence all Republicans.

I can’t believe I’m so late for this. I never thought that quasi-Presidential power included the ability to make anything disappear.

“Zoop,” Kerry might say, and the only people who actually define him would disappear.

I wish I had the power of Zoop too. Hrm. Everything would be so easy. Terrorists are on the top of my list, but for less altrusitic of targets, I’d Zoop the tips of grass in my yard above an inch and a half. Instant lawn care. All I need is a magic wand, go “Zoop!” and long grass would be cut down to size.

I want to run for President so I can go Zoop too. I won’t make Kerry’s mistake though. If he made Republicans disappear, he wouldn’t have any people that he can say he isn’t like.

(Thanks Jay Solo for leading me to Viking Pundit, who has the NYT link)