This recipe from the New York Times for New England Clam Chowder was a harrowing experience to read. Final step in the procedure:

Assemble servings in 6 small shallow bowls. Spoon 2 tablespoons warm potato purée into each bowl. Add 1 tablespoon of warm onion jam, slightly off-center. Spoon 1 tablespoon bacon cream around edge of purées. Place a room-temperature clam in center of bowl. If clam broth jelly has solidified, pulse it with an immersion blender or whisk it until it is a loose gel, and spoon 1 teaspoon directly over clam in each bowl. Drizzle chive oil over dish. Garnish with reserved diced bacon and with pinches of crushed potato chips.

Campbell’s Select has got nothing on that bitch.

UPDATE: I felt a parody of Rene Gonzalez’s “apologetic non-apology” creeping up while chatting about this recipe with some friends. To channel Scrappleface:

The rogue chef by the name of Jose Andres has issued an apology to all residents of the New England region for publishing a recipe that these residents called “offensive,” “disgusting” “arrogant,” and “immature.” In a statement to the Culinary Institute of America, read on Food TV by Wolfgang Puck, Chef Andres says, “I am more than aware that one cooks soup by bringing things slowly together over time, as opposed to blowing the flavors apart and putting them back together again. But, I felt that New England Clam Chowder has been treated like a lowly dish, and I felt that American society had arrived at that conclusion without much thinking, but rather as a knee-jerk reaction to the way classic American dishes are made. I felt the need to elevate it to the heights of pretentious haute cuisine in order to give it some justice, but I did it in such an insensitive way, that my recipe is not worth publishing.”

As of press time Jose Andres could not be reached for comment. He has not returned phone calls nor e-mails, and his restaurant is boarded up with duct tape. Reportedly he has received threats from Maine residents for a “crash course” in cooking clam chowder.

[end parody] More background info on the newest kid to feel the full force of freedom of speech courtesy of Guy, of North Georgia Dogma. And just as an aside. Whoever is threatening that kid’s life is still committing a crime. I find it beneath me to call for violence upon this shitbag.

UPDATE II: I look forward to Dave Neiwert writing a collegiate-paper–length blog entry on how the reaction to Rene “Tillman is a not a hero” Gonzalez is an indicator of the creeping fascism that is slowly tightening its grip on this country. He used IMAO as an example before; why stop there, eh?