An image-obsessesd pacifist, a Game Theory 101 failure looking for a quick campaign, and a grieving hatemonger walk into an ecumenical religious edifice…

It sounds like the start of a bad joke, yes? ETR and I covered Cindy Sheehan’s visit to University of Maryland, College Park, and their lecture at the Memorial Chapel. ETR has the audio, I took down notes.

So let’s start, shall we?

“Oh mom! I have a zit on my nose!”

That statement could have summarized the entire attitude of Shibley Telhami, when he spoke about the US and Arab perceptions after the start of the war. He cited a lot of popular opinion survey polls about the confidence level that the Arab nations hold towards the US, and that there was a really huge drop. From my notes, he states that 60% of Saudis approve of our country, and that now, that level is in the single digits.

I say that 1% of Saudis deciding our policy is 1% too much, yes?

Later he cited his own survey that despite developments in the region, majority consider themselves “less democratic” now than they did before the war began.

Well if we use Hussein-era 99.99% voter turnout as a standard, heck, the United States would really be undemocratic, ya? He didn’t say where he got his figures, just stated that a lot more people in the Arab world consider themselves less democratic today than they felt before. Perceptions matter, folks. I wonder what kind of impression he’s giving these folks. We all know that the wording of a survey’s question affects its results. Until he releases his figures and methodology, I think a lot of his stuff is just tripe.

However, let’s not forget. This was a left-wing lovefest. We shouldn’t be letting facts get in the way of a circle jerk.

“Both sides suck! Vote for me!”

I’ll give Telhami this much credit: for a tenured professor in a named chair, he knows how to temper his views. Kevin Zeese, on the other hand, came out with enough bromides to make Howard Dean’s daily Ben & Jerry’s-inspired Yeeeeeeargh seem moderate in comparison.

He may not have been as hateful or vicious, but he was thumping his chest enough over issues to make folks from Indymedia, Daily Kos, and the Democratic Underground seem sane. He goes guns blazing on both sides to make his point. Sort of like John McCain, without the charm.

• The usual accusation of BushHitlerHalliburCheneyCo. “knowing” that 9/11 were to happen came out.
• The old canard about 100,000—actually he adds twenty thousand to that mix, maybe pulling it out of his arse—dead Iraqi civilians came out.
• He accused both parties from all levels of government as having orchestrated a deliberate failure in New Orleans

At about halfway through his fiery speech, my face was frozen into a rictus of disgust. I have walked through the looking glass into the mind of one of Them, right in my face too. My disbelief was visible on my face. I remember him saying something about some pet issue of his. An old lady behind yelled in support. “Yeah!”

I was half-expecting the people he’s planted in the audience to break into song and dance.

He called “free trade” a euphemism for “corporate protection.” While the concept itself may hold some sort of merit upon further study, the people around me had no need for it. True belief was in the air and it was thick. He quoted McCain too, the vocally reckless “maverick” darling of the media, as saying that both parties were selling the country to the highest bidder.

(Trademark McCain. And despite that, Mother Cindy stung him too, calling him a warmonger. Classic Scorpion and Frog fable. )

When Zeese started talking about Category 10 hurricanes and wind farms, his voice became white noise and my misery was over. I just had to wait for Mother Cindy.

Proof of a civil society?

At an earlier time in human history, a woman like Cindy Sheehan would have been shouted down for the inconsistencies in her own statements, and for the sheer lack of decency that she shows towards her son’s death.

There were plenty of Cindy opponents in the audience that night: I spoke to a few Jewish guys who wanted to ask her about he remarks on 9/11 and the war being a Neocon conspiracy. A few other republicans who thought that her talk was bullshit, they were there, and they were all quiet as Mother Cindy spoke at length, infantilizing her son and fixating only on the concept that he’s, well, her son.

Newsflash Mother Cindy: your son, despite his reluctance to go, definitely picked up a gun when he was in Iraq. I’m not sure if it’s true or not, but he may have even shot at someone. This may be crushing news to you, but your son, well, he was a warmonger too.

Oh wait. He was only a tool of warmongers, ya? Maybe that can take the edge off. Ever felt like a tool used by hatemongers like Kevin Zeese too?

On paper her words seem extremely hateful. In person, she comes off as a severely grieving mother driven mad by loss. If only she were like this all the time, every time, she’d be believable. No, I think she’s been driven mad by the insularity that comes with being a celebrity, with being surrounded by fawning, uncritical coverage. Yes, The Anchoress got her psychoanalysis of Mother Cindy down to a tee, and she didn’t even have to meet her in person.

Mother Cindy, after her speech, left, citing illness. She was unavailable, as usual to answer questions from people who did not agree with her.