“Why is it that when politicians talk about families talking about what families do when times are rough, or even when they’re just kicking back, it always has you on the table? Tell me, Kitchen Table, why is that?”

“Because, Dining Table, if these pols ever, ever mentioned eating on you while talking about family problems the image of a forty-piece cutlery and China setting for a fourteen-course dinner that you evoke would totally sink a campaign. You are so Martha Stewart. Or Hyde Park. Your pick.”