“Let’s just say Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan would tuan yuan at every chance,” said Liu, referring to the combination of the panda’s names, which means “to reunite” in Mandarin. “They would do it doggy-style and every armchair zoologist knows that pandas favor the missionary position â€” when they do it at all. Their behavior caused chaos. Children screamed and parents became irate.” [...]
In a statement released yesterday evening, Chinese foreign ministry spokesman Qin Gang (ç§¦å‰›) addressed the panda scandal.
“We understand that our compatriots in Taiwan are very upset. We wish to assure them that we have taken steps to address their concerns. We hope that our Taiwanese friends enjoy the gift of two extremely rare Wenzhou brown forest bears,” Qin said.
Hey, I’m an armchair zoologist and I didn’t know that. Then again I prefer marine zoology. In tomorrow’s news, we can expect Qin Gang to be executed for recognizing Taiwan in public. Oh the shame, the shame!
UPDATE: Yes I know it’s a belated April Fool’s post but it’s fun, still.